JoysAngel

I'm sorry if I could have done more. I wish that I'd known the words to make your pain not raw. I wish that I'd stayed up with you all night and tried to save your life. I wish that I'd known the words to make you realise that your life is worth living. That you weren't alone. Crying seems irrational... you barely knew me and I barely knew you. But I wish I'd found a way to make you understand, how much I need you to be okay. I'm sorry that you felt so alone that ending it was the only thing to do. Im sorry if you screamed, cried with no-one there to hear you. I wish that someone was there to hold you in those final moments. I hope that the p

I hold onto the memories because they mean so much. Those memorise that I swore I would never forget. They begin to fade, but I want let go, their all that I have of you now. I'm beginning  to forget the sound of your voice, hair waving in the wind. All that I seek now is you, but your never anywhere to be seen. Your not there to save me from those memories which haunt me in the night. Is this what I get for all of my sins? I can't live with myself, i wish that you could hold me tonight. To tell me that you need me because you love me to much. So nothings left but to carve your name into my skin... I can't forget you then. I want you to cover

Stay with me, Stay with me What I wouldn't give for you to hold me for a minute and tell me that it will all be okay. But you can't now can you, your gone and you've been gone for what seems an eternity. Your pain may have ended but mine has only just started. Did you scream, cry, shake? Where you terrified? That argument, did we make it up? I hope that you knew that I love you so. I hope that you didn't believe a word that I said that night, that you shrugged it off without a thought like you so often did. But now we'll never know. All that's left is second guessing and a shattered heart. That night there was none to save you and now there'

Its all going to be okay I hear you saying above the drone, but how can I believe you? Things are never okay, your trying to understand but you can't. None can. As your saying it I wonder do you really believe it? Your face trying desperately to conceal a thousand truths that you don't want me to see. After all mum, need isn't really the same as belief is it? You see the silver lines and crescents running up my arm, you go to ask but you stop. You know perfectly well the answer. You wonder why I do it and frankly so do I most of the time. The thing that you don't see is that each scar represents something I wish I'd told him or each memory

Misaki had been out for weeks and nobody could tell me when this was going to end. Doctors did't even understand what had happened to him. They didn't know if he could hear, or even understand what was going on around him. But i knew that he could, he was stuborn, he wouldn't plunge into a world of silence without a fight. Dispite my absolute blind (they don't call it blind for a reason) faith, worry still ebbed away at my resolve every time i looked at his delicate face. It bacame increasingly difficult to believe my own eyes, this couldn't be the same boy that i'd held night after night. He'd always been delicate and samll but amongst all t

Guilt, Pain Anger, Envy. All of these feelings had become regular to Misaki lately. All ot them regarded Akihiko Usgai recently, who would have thought that such feelings would lead to the events afterwards?                                       ...... I can't help but wonder recently, Usgai syas that he loves me all of the time but does he really mean it? Maybe to him i'm just a distraction to everything troubling him? Such thoughts i try to forget but it's not eay is it, to think that the one you love doesn't feel the same way. Its been bothering me a lot recently but i want tell him, he has been so busy... Usagi had dragged me away on a